going through them

it has been a little while since Run-On Sentences, since any shared thoughts have been posted about anything I’ve been experiencing. I decided that if there was nothing new to share then why. sooooo I’m relocating soon. so I thought I better finally do away with old lyrics and energy too, before the move.  Confidently enough, I love a lot of my writing which makes it a little difficult to flame some. to reminisce about past experiences, past growth, to be presently where I am today-right now sitting in my bed thinking, wondering, wanting, missing, loving, living, more than existing. so here…here I will share some of my past. plus I’m always good for it.

 

i’m against it all. (2012)

i’m against how shocked you are, yet again, when another child kills another child.
bitch, this ain’t new, stop twiddling at your thumbs and do something about it.
just fyi, regardless of any possible difference, a gun is a gun in any neighborhood. metal detectors can help. more so, listen.

i’m against you judging me because my answers aren’t the answers you were hoping for.
well fuckin’ talk to your damn self. i am the blackest black sheep in my fam, i tell it as it is and as i am. you don’t like. step.

i’m against you treating me like shit because my job/career doesn’t meet up to your standards.
uh, last time i looked i’m only trying to please me, not you and infinite others. trust if someone else respects->then respect def givin’ in return.

i’m against you pretending like you care. its been black history month for a full on month now, placing inspirational icons on the basement wall, means what?

truly,
i’m against how crazy this world is, is becoming and is going to get. against it. but totally hip to the shit.

for the Pillow (2011)

swiveling
and
twirling in happiness
c’mon
take a kiss
like silly lil boys in flirtatious ganders
tempt mentals of this
yet stay steady
confidence in every step
slept-mean to sleep no longer
missing this bliss…..>>>
eaaaaase
seamless in wishes
gravitating on own sensations
taunting at my mmmmm,
to remember what once was is over
to live on for what’s to come
carries these bones along
striving and driving and trying to
be – present in the every be-ing of
life, is too short
the saying repetitiously plays
some stay delayed in its relaying
but that ship has sailed on from me.
so,
please gently wrap your aura into mine
set lighting-set time-energies aligned
souls and spirit intertwined
incense burn-
divinity,
for right now we belong together like
water and sun
like earth and moon
soon
say, soon say
soon
skin will be one in the same
tamed by the thoughts
guided by the mights – strength
in deep deep
deeep breaths.

the breezes feels good today
thinking to stay a bit longer
lay in its warmth
dream in its existence,
its all for you
all for you,
you.

9/20/10
needs a revival
like holy ghost rising from depths of unseen sin
but naw, not like religion my friend
a cleansing deeper than the hollow points of my pen
– yet know the inks still-a-drippin –

i may or may not be trippin
but the hours ticking in the darkness of the night
have me thinking more often than i’d like
sometimes its good, sometimes its just aight
other times my heart gets pounding and out of fright
worry of ceasing creeps me

don’t fret, the regret lies no where close to these fingers
my mind be going so i allow the words to linger
where ever they must roam
in this silent solitude – my home

alone – it is again
the mending of paper to pen
wisdom’s to mic and the write to
continue freely
see me finding or searching for definitions to
stanzas
constant rambles of gospel rhythmic tunes
and this room becomes my closet and my gawd is in it
so i think i know i’m home…

some say evil hangs mostly about this time
but mind knows better than that
i’m just on a track of seeking for truth
seeking for you and seeking for ME
the tree that roots up inside is = my ANCESTRY
and at its most rapid growth,

you see,
this is my revival
my ministry finding jolts and pulsating bolts
of life striking within
its like i’m in touch with self
i’m…in…touch…with…self
so i stay in touch with myself
watching my feet as not to repeat backward steps

they say “jesus wept”
does it can’t somehow in layman’s terms if i wept too-
sacrifice the proofs to find ways to save?

11/Sept/09

want what you cant have
want what you cant grab
reach but you cant hold
grip but you lose control
want what you cant have
want what you cant grab
taste but you cant have
silver lining upon the walls
and if they could speak
they would run
they always run from the truth
what you want you cant have
you vision their faces
in the vision they laugh, cause you
want what you cant have
want what you cant grab
reach but there’s no one there
speech but no one hears
no one’s here
no one’s there
what do you want
what you want
….

17/July/09
is it all coming from something • a saturn and venus kinda thing • a good energy bad energy • where is all this kinda energy coming from kinda thing • dripping solitude in order to finally connect • to finally seize crazy out of the blue • type days • aroma haze filled type of daze * my roots paint like connected dots • and there’s a lot of shit that just hasn’t been done yet • bets paid and debts laid in • dark bedrooms echoing of moans • and “put it right there – right there” • trips up on repeat

6/April/09
words make meaning
what do these words mean…

(20/Nov/08)
WORK in PROGRESS

see they said round-trip was on
the back of my head
but when they looked in my hair
all they found was dread
don’t think you’re filled up cause
you’ve yet to be fed
just continue to listen on
storing all that’s being read,

see I come from a land
where you seek.find.return
where there is debate to keep
all that you earn
within there’s goals, ambitions
a future many angles & turns
comes from book sense
and street sense that you learn,

its like a constant battle barely getting by
or hustle for wealth
takes a toll on your life
causes strain to your health
it crashes in like waves
back and forth with yourself,
one minute you for sure that you know
the next you’re almost praying for death,

you begin to search deeper
venting to this power from above
suddenly feeling like you can walk that
straight and narrow because of that love
but one slip up and all debts
give a harsh push and a shove,
but how you suppose to pay’em
when all seems taken by the gov’t,

what do you do?

shit, you think long you think hard
and you do what is best
you hustle you flow you dont
get no fuckin’ rest
your body wants down and
your hearts’ damn near pounding out-ch-yo chest
blurred sight late hours snowy television
a warning tone “THIS IS NOT A TEST”,

this is your life do what must be done
shed some tears breath deep and do you
some might say seems like a cop out
well who knew
that by taking care of you biz
would cause an avalanche of truths
you’ve seen it day in and day out
life out there is your proof,

it differs from person to person
I think we all can see
what works for you
may not work for me
its a vicious ass cycle trying to live
and wanting to be equal and free
we should support respect and provide
open arms and ears so all can just be,

see my goal in life is to
travel this world
I dont want to be one of the statistics
shit I’m more than just some gyrl, yet
I’ll do what I have to do to get by
whether its all tangled and twirled
what is desired of life
is to somehow splendidly come unfurled,

…so if you must deal
in whateva aspects – be brilliant
there may or may not be
ample space to be resilient
a wise voice once went

“to be idle is a short road to death
and to be diligent is a way of life;
foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent”.

 

flirt spot

i glance
you glance
i glance
we dance a little closer

i dance
you dance
i dance
put your hand
put your number
in my holsters,

i mean put your thoughts
inside my pockets
our energy
electric
more intense than
wall sockets,

i miss this way
of how the hips sway
of how my eyes watch
on how they seem to
tic toc
tic toc
like clock work
synchronized
hypnotized
to thighs,

point blank
naw, i aint
gonna lie
i miss the how
i miss the why
(p: 8:35pm)
©2008/17/08

BABBLING (8/11/08)

pressure
test ya
mad
angry
FUCK YOU
peace
peace
traveling under
cultures
teaching
music
movement
life
LIFE
endure
time and
LOVE and
HATE
fuck you
let’s just fuck and
ask questions
later…..
the colors are
calmer
than before
cooler to
CLOSE
OFF
to
SHUT
DOWN
to
FUCK
FUCK
breathing to
exist to
co-exist
to miss the
POINT.

6.03.08
her niqab – her body – her fingers

her niqab against my hand – strangely and purposefully against my hand – normally others would quickly retrieve – I was pleased – I was excited by the texture – of her warmth – not sexually – just acknowledged – then later – not long after the black niqab – her hand – the fingers – not slightly, truly purposefully – underneath my hand – not covered – so it was obvious – she had to have known – enough room to “scoot” to the side – crazy unpacked in this – metro/subway – she had to have known – easily we could have both removed the certainty – the touches – yet maybe she needed the same as I – acknowledgement – no one to hurry to step aside – ignore her presence – her elegance – her dark, shadowy form – veiled from her home world – female, woman – the warmth we shared – far less than thirty minutes – yet added minutes of memory into my life – for I will not forget them – permanently inked here – and her – though temporarily resonant on my brown skin -…however I never saw her eyes.
(this peace wont ever be destroyed physically nor mentally. i hold this write to my Soul.)

PAD – 4/6 ‘things not as they appear’

my quiet tone detours her
my written lyric fears her,
so she doesn’t know.
she doesn’t know that my
cerebral walls hold her
tiny multifaceted forms of communication
cleverly camouflaging themselves,
scarcely trying to find aim
thus my quiet doesn’t reach.
for her, there isn’t enough to escalate
more attempts to listen for
what hasn’t been said yet
or what she hasn’t given time to hear,
bet wisdom is suppose to be given
freely
as if my vulnerability was meant to
be naively handed out without wait
clause and reason.
she isn’t listening really
she doesn’t even see me.

(2bcontd.)
©RhaeSeals2015April
©2015ARS

(Fortunately I had a full and great and thankful day 4/5. Unfortunately, I did not write. 2 days down.)

PAD 4/4 – departure

(slipped up on 3. 1 day down.)

soon it comes,
there is nothing more right now
to suspect or to
expect.
these feet always have some where to be
some place planned.

i close my eyes wondering
what will the night sounds say
how will they look at me,
and will i be able to hear clear their words.
the drums tell me already
get ready
get ready
for the closeness.

©RhaeSeals2015April
©2015ARS

PAD – 4/2 / Secret …and Fear

simple secrets

they say “I can tell you but
then I’d have to…”
which I’d never do
which I couldn’t do
though sometimes my words
wish to find rhyme
to tell all,
ask and I would.

©RhaeSeals2015April
©2015ARS

I’m attempting two 30/30 Nationally Poetry Month challenges. I admit there may be more than one poem each day. The above is the one I shared on writer’s digest PAD challenge. The other below was shared on the fb.

It’s a choice that must be made
Seen from all necessary perspectives,
A part of me is ready
A part of me isn’t.
I remember this feeling,
something like a fear.

©RhaeSeals2015April
©2015ARS

morefucksthan1

*possibly mature advisory*

some times i feel over these rains
i want rhyme to tell time to come sit on my face,
shush, grown folks talking.

been walking the walk cradling a certain amount of
gentlewoman in my soul,
slipped up forgetting the moments when i owned my pace like
cock in my pants
or a romance that set sensations to wet,
called confidence.

act my age,
don’t have to act
this is my age and this is my page
and free will
called my ball point pen
or the spin i’m in, just
LIVIN’.

sick and tired of attempting mr. nice guy
fuck why,
there’s nothing coming to me simpler by being this passive way into words
when no one’s listening that intently.
so how about i play it QueenB
with bitches insteada niggas
the ultimate rush
hair pulled back and
a symphony playin’ my most intimates,
ass smackage
vibrating moans that cause trembling bones
i mean thighs
i mean legs wrapped for centuries around days intertwined between locs,
lay’em down all lined up in a row
you choose, either way, its all fun
leggo.
it’ll be all said and done unless the safest words
are ever uttered.

ha,
i know many will be so afraid to read of such the
way to speak or be,
yet whosoever said the nice ones get all the glory…
not me, never been the story.

so i reach back – waaay back
wrist deep damn near elbows deep
back, into stanzas
rambled on and on while off centered
yet in balanced tangents
trusting my lyrics believing in my word,
this is my adulthood
fuck what you heard.
consider yourself handling the rock
the roll
and the stroll of this tongue
sprung from the flickers of
truths only kinda sorta aggressively muttered,

©RhaeSeals2015March
©2015ARS